The Birth of Awesomeness!

Of all the special occasions in my life, my birthday would probably be the least I am eagerly anticipating.

The enthusiasm I have on my birthday is weirdly going downhill as I grow old. Maybe because it’s the realization that as you grow old, having your birthday celebrated means you’re the one who’s going to spend for it. There are no moms and pops that will give you a party and buy you a cake. No ninangs and ninongs giving you gifts. This is now the point in your life you realize that, as a grown-up, you are now responsible of making that day memorable.

So in the advent of my looming 25^th birthday, I realized that I have the choice to make it fun and unforgettable. That’s why when Patrick insisted that I should probably celebrate my birthday with another cookfest with the explocook gang, I texted Maggie right away if we can abuse her house again and she said yes. 

A Copycat's Take on a J. Oliver Recipe

Grilled Spatchcocked Chicken with New Potatoes and Asparagus in Herby Yogurt

This is based on a recipe of the same title
 from Cook with Jaime Oliver,  2006 Oct, UK.

I am one among millions of Jaime Oliver followers, because:

- I like the way he cooks: crude, disorganized in an adorable way;

- He has meltdowns. I do too. When it happens, he moves on, tries it again and makes it better. I don't; I stop and never go back, my dinuguan in 2002 is the perfect example;

- Aside from cooking, he plants, and; 

- I have always imagined ending up with a Filipino version of him (OH YES! I AM A DREAMER!). Instead, I got a mutated Larry Page stalker-in-denial, Michael Greer-wannabe, Andrew Dan-Jumbo in-the-making and a devout Ric Segreto fanatic who once cooked a very tasty chicken adobo on our second date and was never able to recreate it years after. I say, typical one-hit wonder.

Often when I serve meals I got from Mr. Oliver, most of my friends find it too “foreign” for their taste. When you have friends with tongue predisposed to eating saucy Spanish, salty Filipino, overcooked Tsinoy (Filipino-Chinese) food, all others are foreign.

Death By Chocolate ver 2

Death By Chocolate ver 2 with fresh mint leaves.

Everybody LIKES chocolate – somehow. No, don't shake your head in disagreement. As a hilaw na manga and bagoong-person (my soul tingles at the sight of green mango and sauteed salted shrimp fry), I would probably do the same if I hear that statement from someone else. But you have to admit, we all have chocolate fixes. Mine is a candy-coated dark chocolate with peanuts. Yes, Patrick, I agree that it is indeed a rip-off since the candy coating is relatively thick, there's too little chocolate in it and the peanut inside is more or less 400% bigger than an average-sized peanut in a Prinsesa pack. If you grew up in the Philippines, circa 80s to 90s, you probably know what Prinsesa is.

When Ryan asked for a chocolatier cake for his birthday, I knew I had to come up with something that will make his pores bleed chocolate and his eyes pop in overload.

I landed on Cacaoweb's Death By Chocolate which I consider version 1. It is a fairly simply recipe but it requires an oven. If you intend to make this, you do not need to buy an oven (yet, although it is a good investment); if you have friends who own one, visit them, bake and increase your pogi/ganda points.

Gusto ko ng baboy!

“My brother is not a pig!”, sobbed Nora Aunor in Minsan May Isang Gamu-Gamo to an American Serviceman who shot his brother who mistook him for a wild boar. The incident compelled Corazon de la Cruz (Aunor) to cancel her trip in the land of milk and honey to work as a nurse.

This scene was so powerful that aside from awakening my senses to the struggle of Filipinos against the Americans in the Philippines, also introduced me to the use of the word pig. Prior to that, the only pig I knew were the ones in the corral which my dad raised, but from thereon I got the liking of using pig or baboy in anything I find unacceptable- mostly on how people behaved.

Sun and Squash

The meaning of the word fest stays true to my friends who never seem to lose the energy to celebrate or come together for anything whenever, wherever. That Saturday was no different; in fact even more so because there WAS indeed something to celebrate. It appeared that even a mabangisnalobo can actually remember that he was turning a quarter-century old. I wanted to give him a “savagely fierce balloon”, but I don't know what it looks like so I ended up not getting him one.

I remember that I had my 'biggest' birthday celebration when I turned his age. I invited most of my friends and had a blast cooking for everybody. It’s nice to look back and realise that I've been cooking for years now, although not as often as I want to. And as years passed, all I was certain of is that being amateur and clumsy got nothing to do with age.  

Of Karl Marx, Tyler Durden (a.k.a. Edward Norton), Martha Stewart, a Whole Gamut of Isms, and my Own Meandering Experience

Artwork: batanggala; Images:theinspirationroom.com, coulaslourdes.com,
clker.com, flixster.com, utahstories.com, overgrownpath.com, arthursclipat.org

Tyler Durden: We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.

Narrator: Martha Stewart.

Tyler Durden: Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns.

Again, Martha Stewart- cook, artist, entrepreneur, innovator, prisoner. Now, that’s what you call a lady with balls. Man, if I were a she, I would be her. But, I reckon I don’t need some castration as lately, the dining table is slowly turning around as more and more hombre are staying in the kitchen more than the pub. Introducing a new breed of men- [drum roll please] the gastrosexuals! Think Gordon Ramsay or Jamie Oliver. You know, this new generation of men who can actually cook and uses their kitchen prowess and seduce prospective partners. Thus, a man donning an apron is no longer sissy but sexy. Woot woot.

La Bouche, Coming Home and The Night Jose Ruled Drunken Pinoy Henyo

When Portia came back from her Australia trip loaded with stories and photos, we gathered together along with a bottle of Pareng Jose (the tequila), tacos with homemade beef, cheese, chili and tomato dip, and a game of Drunken Pinoy Henyo (yes, "truth or dare" is now old school) and we came up with the idea of "cooking together". Since we are amateurs and with experience only of "cooking to satisfy our hunger" we have convinced each other that we want to be each other's "lab rat", an audience, a critic (of which we find ourselves really good at, in the most amusing way).

There, the idea of "cook fest" was born.

The first cook fest-cum-welcome dinner-cum-late birthday celebration for Portia ended up with a delightful meal of Balsamic Chicken and Pears, Banana Bread, Lemon Tuna Pasta, Ripe Mango Shake and Margarita.

If Life Gives You Lemons, Say Thank You! (Nothing's Free Nowadays)

If there’s one thing I can be proud of with my Mom’s culinary expertise, it is her own version of Lengua Estofado, Menudo, and Calloz Royale. Those three are phenomenal! And if there’s one thing I am very ashamed of, it’s her Spaghetti a la Ketchup. That one is dangerously horrendous!

No wonder they call this Depression Spaghetti http://www.convergingcuisine.com/?p=28

I really don’t understand why my Mom still uses her spaghetti ketchup recipe. When we were kids, probably it tastes good, but now, it seems like I am eating pasta soaked in Jufran’s Banana ketchup. Yes, that’s how my palates become more sophisticated after writing several articles on wedding food during my stint in Manila Bulletin.

Mango Shake Delight!

Ripe mango photo from Jun Lisondra

Being one of the most common fruits around, it is easy to disregard mangoes but I’ll bet my life to it that the Philippines has the best-tasting and sweetest mangoes out there. With its availability all-year round, you can experiment a lot of things with it and you make it into any kind of dessert that you wish. The easiest and most refreshing way you can enjoy mango is to make it into a smoothie or a shake.

Here’s what you’ll need:

2 Ripe mangoes (make sure that it is sweet)

Crushed Ice

½ cup Evaporated filled milk

2tbsp Sugar

Balsamic Chicken and Pears, O-ha!

Eat it or leave it! That was the mantra over the dining table whilst growing up. And to further this agony, our mom would always remind us to consume to the last bit whatever was on the plate as if we’re living the lyrics of “bawat butil ng palay, ay butil ng pawis ng luha at dugo”.

The song plus the incessant reminder has probably scarred my subconscious that up to these days it pains me to see food wastage. It is probably also to blame my being frugal in a lot of things that’s why I can’t help but exclaim of the rising prices everywhere! IBON said that the value of the P382-minimum wage in NCR is worth only P235 in 2004, see?

One day thinking of what to cook and wanting to utilise what’s only available in the fridge and the kitchen condiments- chicken, pears, olive oil, balsamic vinegar I asked myself “what to do eh?” I may be knowledgeable about a lot of stuff (mostly chismis), but not in the kitchen. Thank goodness for google, I just typed in the available ingredients and voila from www.inmamaskitchen.com, the Balsamic Chicken and Pears.

1:3 Margarita

Margarita is probably one, if not the most, loved tequila-based cocktails and the easiest to make with the introduction of commercially available margarita mixes in the market. And they come in different fruity flavors as well! But I am into classic lime.

Although at times and when it permits, I find it interesting to make it from scratch but the convenience of 1:3 - that’s one part tequila and three parts margarita mix; saves a lot of time in preparation which means you’ll have more time to do other things, like say, start drinking and mingling.

This whole concoction costs, at the minimum, about PhP 1,000 depending on the brand of tequila you prefer. Local breweries offer a less expensive one than imported brands you see on the market. If you are not very particular, it does not (well, it does, a little) change much on taste. But with a thousand pesos and a few friends, this does not cost much with the alternative of enjoying it in a bar or a restaurant. Believe me, enjoying it outside will cost you more. A single bottle of margarita mix can make you about two pitchers or more. In fact, the margarita mix we used here was left-over from a previous all-nighter.

Going bananas!

Before I visited my sister in Sydney last year, I’ve never tried a hand at baking. My mother used to bake when I was a kid, but my memory fails to bring out a picture of me being involved in the process, except perhaps the eating part. My sister has more fond memories of the baking heydays at home; I guess this is what influenced her in making yummy cakes in her own kitchen several years later. All that baking in her Aussie kitchen rubbed some on me, which I brought home to test during our first-ever clumsy cookfest.

at the Aussie kitchen: cupcakes for my 30th, my first-ever banana bread, Jomy's 2nd bday Spiderman carrot cake with pecan and almond nuts, Jet's 1st bday almond milled chocolate choochoo train cake and the banana bread loaf before the attack! (jet and jomy are my little nephews, by the way)

I decided to come up with banana bread - or cake? the difference is very thin if it exists at all - on my first solo attempt at baking, with critics composed of close friends. Without my sister's presence to guide me, it was a bit unnerving but then, bananas are so common in the Philippines being a tropical country that eventually it felt like I can never go wrong with it.

Because Cooking Is All About The Cooker, Not The Cookie or This Is Probably An Excuse For A Psychological Disorder

To start off, let me just say that contrary to popular belief, cooking for me is not therapeutic.

You know what’s relaxing and satisfying? It’s the affirmation you get when your family or friends eat your food. It’s the remark: “Wow. This is good. This is food-channel good!”

I think that’s my main reason why I cut vegetables and boil pasta. It’s the thought of gastronomical glorification from your peers. I never had a formal culinary training or any guidance from my Mom, which is by the way, the best maker of Lengua Estofado and Calloz Royale!

So making people around you satisfied with your food is really good. But making people say YOU’RE GOOD because they’re satisfied with your food is just pure bliss.

Yes. Affirmation is very therapeutic. As with any craft and skills you know. And apart from the indescribable joy I feel when someone praises my culinary prowess, cooking also taught me some life’s lessons.